


Like Autumn Leaves We Fall

by WerewolvesandMoonbeams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:42:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WerewolvesandMoonbeams/pseuds/WerewolvesandMoonbeams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is broken after his fall, stuck between human and angel.  He is nothing and everything at once, and Dean is both comforting and suffocating while trying to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Autumn Leaves We Fall

"You ok in there?" 

Cas looked up, his once brilliant eyes now as cloudy as the cold bath water he was half submerged in. Since he had arrived at the bunker, Dean had been fussing over him. It had been nice at first, being with his family again. Sam had given him a hug, telling him how happy he was to see him. Cas had smiled and nodded, but before he could tell Sam how he felt, Dean had pulled him into a hug tight enough to take his breath away.

It had gotten irritating quickly. Dean was all over him, feeding him constantly, nagging at him to check his temperature, to drink more water, to tell them again what exactly had happened. 

He had escaped to the bathroom, mumbling under his breath about needing to get clean. Two hours later the water was cold, and he was shivering. "I'm fine, Dean."

"You sure?" The worry was obvious in Dean's voice, and it broke Cas' already pulverized heart. He hated to be the reason for Dean's pain, and he knew that usually that's exactly what he was.

"Yes, I'm fine."

There was silence on the other side, but Cas knew that Dean was just outside the door, waiting for him to give in. He always did.

"Oh, alright, come in," he said, and the words were barely out of his mouth before the door opened and Dean stepped inside.

So much had happened the past few days, but Dean looked as if he had aged a few years. There were dark circles under his eyes, and worry lines etched into his forehead. Cas wanted to reach out, touch Dean's cheek and tell him that everything would be ok. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he turned, letting his aching back rest against the cool tile wall, and he looked up at Dean, forcing a small smile.

"You, uhh, you need anything? You've been in here for a while..." Dean licked his lips nervously. Cas noticed.

"You keep asking that," Cas said, tilting his head slightly to the left. "I don't know what to say. I am broken, Dean. Fallen. I am not human, but I am not an angel. I am nothing." He looked down at the murky water, needing to look anywhere but up into Dean's sad, dark eyes.

Dean sighed, sitting down on the edge of the tub. "Cas, don't talk like that. You know you aren't nothing."

He shook his head sadly. "I am stuck in between. I could be happy as a human, if I was completely human. But I'm not. I'm..." He looked up, and for the first time Dean saw him crying. "I am nothing."

Dean reached over, not thinking of anything other than how badly he wanted to take Cas' pain away. He touched the other man's shoulder, his cheek. "Hey, we're gonna figure this out, ok? We're gonna get you your grace back, your wings, w-"

"I still have my wings," Cas said, his words barely a whisper.

"You do? Cas, that's great," Dean smiled hopefully. "That's a good sign."

"Yes, but they were badly damaged. I... They are barely wings at all."

"Let me see?" Dean asked, putting his finger under Cas' chin and making him look up at him. "Please?" Cas shook his head, eyes low. "Oh, come on man, it's me!" Cas jumped, looking up at Dean as more tears rolled down his cheeks. With a curt nod, his wings unfurled. They were tattered, and as they opened several black, charred feathers fell into the water, floating around Cas like autumn leaves. His once beautiful wingspan was nothing more than the skeletal remains of a wounded bird, and the sight of them tugged painfully at Dean's chest.

"See?" Cas asked, quickly folding the broken wings.

"Oh... Cas..." Dean's roughly calloused fingers smoothed over Cas' cheek. "I'm so sorry."

Cas shook his head, scooping up the black feathers, watching as the water slipped between his fingers. "See? I don't even have my wings."

Dean stood, grabbing a towel and pulling a reluctant Cas up to his feet. He wrapped the fluffy brown towel around Cas' lithe frame, careful of his back. He rubbed at the towel, drying Cas and leading him out of the bathroom. They walked down the hall, not caring as they walked past Sam. Dean steered them into his bedroom. He didn't bother shutting the door. Sam would leave them alone.

Cas sat down on the bed, letting the damp towel slip to the floor. Dean sat beside him, shoulders brushing shoulders. It had been so long since it was just the two of them like this. He looked over at Cas, giving him a small smile. "You're gonna be ok. I promise."

Cas broke down, sobbing. He clung to Dean, burying his face in the hunter's chest. Dean just held him, rocking him gently as he had once rocked Sam when he was scared. Not knowing what else to do, he started to hum.

Cas didn't know how long they sat there, but eventually the tears did stop. He pulled back, looking up at Dean was red, puffy eyes. "I need you," he whispered.

Dean smoothed down Cas' hair, giving him a small smile. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick drabble based on a request I saw on tumblr.


End file.
